Test Match Cricket - the table-top game

Super Cricket? What the blazes is Super Cricket? That, my friend, is Test Match Cricket. And what's with the weird layout of the pitch? It's all gone to rack and ruin.

It's essentially the same game though, let's be fair. Although in our day the bowler was just a glorified ramp. At least your batsman's still a broken toy waiting to happen. Some things never change.

Back when the bowler delivered the ball down a long chute, you could actually hit the ball-bearing back up it, launching it into the air, possibly scaring the cat. In fact we seem to remember more than one instance of 'cat stopped play' as she either chased the ball-bearing, got her claws caught in the immaculately ironed pitch, or stopped for a sleep in the middle of the wicket.

Such were the joys of Test Match Cricket. That and writing down full scorecards for every match and having to somehow fix things so that the tail-end didn't score more runs than your batsmen. That seems to be the abiding theme with all of these games: They're hard to believe in. Do you know why that is? It's because they're games and not real life. We really really really should have made more effort to play for England. Maybe we wouldn't be such a mental if we'd managed it.

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Saturday, May 06, 2006


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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to enjoy hitting the ball so hard it knocked over the standing up outfielders and changed a certain wicket to a certain boundary.

I could never get those bastid crouching fielders to topple though.

2:16 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our batsman must have had a freer swing than yours. We could practically launch fielders.

The bowling team often had to resort to positioning the fielders in a makeshift conga for extra reinforcement.

Perhaps dad WD40-ed the batsman's arms.

2:45 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i used to play my mates and have all the fielders in the slips and bowl the ball as far down the offside as possible, some times they would be all out for none! most times it would end in a row and my mum would have a word much like the great dickie bird! danny

7:34 pm  

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